Staying Optimistic!!!


I can’t help but TRY to stay optimistic and think after the next few months I can finally relax and actually enjoy life. No more of this balancing act. No more watching a movie and thinking “Wow, now I’m going to have to wake up 2 hours earlier so I can work on that research paper.” No more counting hours in the day I have to do things. No more isolating myself during the day or staying up until 3 in the morning to finish things that need to be done. No more reciting information in my head to prepare for a test while at work, in the shower, when eating, etc. 




Outside the building I will take language classes. I can't wait!!!
 Moving is stressful. Moving to another country is another story. Wedding planning is stressful. Wedding planning while your fiancé is in another country is another story. Being too busy to see family is stressful. Being too busy to see family when you’re 3 months from moving away is another story. Then there’s the fact that I’m optimistically crazy and think I can do more things I have time to do. Not only am I a full-time student, but I also starting a new job in a couple of days. I figured after May I will embrace unemployment, so I need to build on my resume. I have had mixed results from ex-patriate Americans I’ve talked to about employment. Some find jobs with no problem and others seem to stay unemployed. I never got into much detail about this with them, so this of course has me curious. As with every other story I’ve heard, I get different impressions from different people. Some say they can find jobs where there is no language barrier and you can find a job where you need to primarily use English, others have found it easy to find a job, and some say it’s difficult to find a decent job for immigrants. I’ll find out for myself soon enough once I start job hunting. Arild has asked around about this and there seems to be no worries of unemployment once I finish the language classes. 
Stella!!!

                Tomorrow I am shipping two boxes to Arild. So that means I am becoming more and more pleased at my apartment’s emptiness and he will have even more of my junk to clutter our room with. J I didn’t really own a lot to begin with, so we decided the cheaper way to go with moving is just to mail boxes of my junk (mostly clothes) over to my new home address. I plan on only taking things I don’t think I can live without. Some sentimental things, some practical and my cat of course when the time comes! She's going on the plane with us when we make the last flight to my new home together. :-) 

                Wedding planning is getting to the point where I’m in between wanting to throw my arms up and expect a disaster and thinking eloping in Las Vegas is a really great and tempting idea. I just want to be married to Arild. Plain and simple. No traditions I don’t understand, just a decent simple and to the point wedding that won’t leave the 50 year old me looking back and wishing the wedding could have been different. Arild  is helping as much as  he can, but of course, once again the distance is a barrier with this. Since we’re having the wedding here it’s difficult for him to help and that leaves me with this that and the other to take care of. It does make me feel a bit alone in all of this, but he is trying to help me all he can and I really have no idea where to begin if I were to ask for wedding planning ideas. I just want to know the important things are taken care of and I think I’ll be much calmer once we have a venue picked out and a definite date set.
Arild with a box I shipped to him a couple of weeks prior to visiting.

                In the midst of it all, I am trying to find spare moments to spend with family. It's sad when I add up the hours spent driving and have to then add up the time I can stay with them. I’m trying to balance everything and plan a schedule. What I have so far is this and I’m sure this won’t always work, but I will work on school early mornings and late night, visit one parent one day each week, so one day I’m off I’ll see one parent and the next day I’m off I’ll see another parent (I doubt this idea will work), and talk to Arild here and there, work my normal schedule, and wedding plan in between. I generally get phone calls from parents every other day asking when I will visit. It’s difficult to say I don’t have time and I really try to make as much time as possible for them. It's a very hard thing to do because I know I should spend as much time as possible with them, but I'm totally restricted due to my own plans and just can't. I have added up that I will actually see my family MORE after I move and come back to see them on vacation than I do now when I’m still living in Kentucky and see them once every 2 weeks – a month. So that is actually something to think about when I start feeling guilty. 
:-) 

                Anyways, May will be here soon and then I can breathe. J Hopefully no more venting in a blog and sharing frustrations of this situation after that! I’m ready for it and I want what waits at the end of this dreadful waiting period more than anything, so I’m ready to face the stress of getting there and I would do so ten-fold.

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