Surviving the Distance Pt. 4

And we left off with waiting...


Our lives went back to "normal" and he went back to his work and friends and family and I went back to school and work and family. This time in full wedding planning mode. We finished up our pre-marriage counseling, we picked out this and that and the majority of our wedding planning was finished during this time. Days passed and I continuously checked my vacation approval status only to be disappointed every time, so I tried to ignore it rather than check it every day. I began to ship a lot of boxes to him of my own things. I've only discovered from all of this I have a severe clothes addiction because that's mainly what the boxes I've sent consist of.

To help pass the time by, I tried my hand at fixing Norwegian meals and I also welcomed my Christmas break from school, so I studied quite a bit of Norwegian. While I did this, he called this place and that place with questions that I had as well as his own questions and concerns about the moving process.

Attempt at making Boller. 

Baked Apple.

I checked the computer at work frequently on my vacation status, only for the computer to say "Pending" every time I checked. I asked my boss about it and he told me I'll know at least 2-3 weeks before the vacation time request. Argh. If I was going to continue doing crazy stuff, I was going to do crazy right and that would be visit Norway for the first time and see the country at its "worst" - in January!!!
Finally about a month before the date of my vacation request, I was told, "approved" by our work's computer!!!! I really really wanted to tell Arild it was denied and just joke around with him, but I didn't. :-)
Within a day my suitcase was packed and ready to go! :-) Our countdown began with 28 days or so!

I welcomed my little sister into the world during this waiting period and we celebrated our last Christmas and New Year's without each other and then it was down to 2 weeks of waiting. :-)

This was my first trip going anywhere alone. I was a bit scared to make this journey and my most reasonable fear was of course getting lost so Arild wrote and  printed step by step directions he had written for me on what to look for, where to go, and when I can just relax.

This is also the time when my blog was born in hopes of further documenting things and reaching out to other people in similar situations. :-)

January 14th finally arrived and I was too excited to sleep, so I woke up at 5 something and checked everything, double checked everything, and triple checked everything. Passport, keys, written directions from Arild, plane confirmation number, Stella (my adorable 3-legged cat) having plenty of food and water and her "diaper bag" filled with everything she needs when I'm away (not to mention a total of 5 post-it's left for my mother on directions how to take care of her). This was not the day for me to be my usual scatter brained self.

I had time to Skype with him a bit and it was so weird going from saying goodbye on Skype to knowing the next time I see him would be in person.

I left my apartment, drove to the airport and did just fine getting through all airport obstacles. Nothing too exciting going on there besides sitting around a bunch of Norwegians in the Newark airport. Most were obviously traveling back home from other places as some had sunburns and others had out books from tropical central American places. It was a very strange, but amazing feeling sitting around people speaking a total different language and realizing I was just hours away from landing in their country.

Although Arild scheduled my flight overnight, I didn't sleep. I was way too excited and besides, there was a TV screen in front of me with instant access to Big Bang Theory. :-) I watched my first Norwegian sunrise on this plane and was amazed. An hour or so later, I finally saw land. I looked down and everything looked like salt and pepper, just more pepper than salt. I realized the darkness was an abundance of trees and of course expected the white... snow. I was finally able to see mountains and more trees. Then cities... and trees. Finally I was able to point out roads and could pinpoint red barns in the snow and... trees. Soon we landed and we landed about half an hour early. I was wide awake and the anticipation was a killer. Come on. Do they really have to make you sit still after you land? They surely could have bent the rules a little and told us we could have gotten up and left the plane. Not sit there and wait until a decent arrival time.

Entering the Gardermoen airport was really weird. That's all I can say. I was so weirded out I was beginning to get scared and start mapping out a safety plan. Why? Oh because, I entered the airport and it was quiet. Public places aren't quiet unless something is wrong or there's a moment of silence. There weren't large crowds of people. In fact, I never seen anyone other than the folks I rode the plane with until I made it into the passport checking area and if the people standing in line were talking, but they were quietly talking among themselves. After rationalizing there really were just normal and harmless, but very quiet people in the airport, I decided things were safe. That was my one and only bout of paranoia during my trip!

I grabbed my suitcase and walked out and Arild was there with Coke in hand. :-) I went in for the hug and meanwhile, clumsily not really caring and allowing my luggage to tip over. What can I say, I'm graceful. :-)

The ride to my new home was nice. He told me what city or town we were driving through and I desperately was more interested in the countryside so we took the back roads home and I only took about 200 pictures during the trip to my new home. We realized I'd be in more tourist mode coming into Norway than him entering America, so we were prepared.

Arriving at my new home was strange, not to mention he was making a video of my first steps entering the place. It was just like I've seen on Skype, only more real. When I was making my tour throughout my new home, I realized I passed up the bathroom. I tried to enter, but tripped and yelled out something profane. I have no idea why there is a tiny step when entering any room, but there is and of all things, this was one of the hardest for me to adjust to.

I'm going to be awful and not say where in Norway this is.
I think it's a relatively low-key place and not
a tourist attraction.
Besides, this has already been declared as my retirement spot.

Had to wait on the 3p.m. sunset to go almost completely
down before leaving. 

I won't get off track and go into too many details of the trip, but wow, Norway is absolutely beautiful. It was cold, but absolutely beautiful. The main purpose was not only to see Arild again, but to meet his family and see Norway for myself and enjoy being a tourist!

I will talk about meeting the parents though! :-)
Either way it's important to gain acceptance into each other's family. Possibly more important for me than him. I knew this and wow, it worried me, but I figured I'd be okay. I began playing the worst scenario in my head I could think of which was similar to a Friends episode where Phoebe met her fiance's parents. I met his mom, dad and brothers and I really think the parental meeting

went well. They were extremely relaxed! I think my only goof-up (which was bound to happen was due to my clumsiness) happened when Arild was explaining to his parents I'm maybe equally if not more clumsy than he is and was explaining all the dropping things, him getting elbowed in the jaw or chin or eye by me, us headbutting one another or his amusement in me tripping. 10 minutes later was apparently my time to shine... I just had to grab the box of chocolate from the coffee table and then sit it back down only to tip over my Coke in the process and spill it all over the table and the linen on the table. His dad joked and said, "Well, we were warned!" :-) His mother asked me questions about Kentucky and asked if I were missing anything from home during my stay. The only thing I could honestly think of was replying with, "I miss my cat." She told me stories from when he was a child.  His dad asked us how it was being together again and he answered,"It's very new, but normal at the same time. We're well ahead in knowing things about one another and knowing how the other person really is, but at the same time it's all very very new just being around the other person." Which is all absolutely correct. When we left his parent's house once his mother was very sweet, hugged me and told me to hang in there with the waiting.

I think we had 2 visits with his family and we also met up with them for pub quiz as well, which his family named the team "Kentucky 5" in consideration of yours truly. I thought that was really sweet. :-) I must also say I was a bit scared simply because I read other expats blogs, so I really don't think you can experience another culture (although Norway REALLY isn't THAT different) from somebody else's experience. I truly believe you just have to go in completely open minded and positive and experience it yourself before realizing what should be expected and let other's experiences influence your own. With that being said, I was reading comments from people concerning how "cold" Norwegians are and I read comments from Americans like, "My mother-in-law NEVER hugs me!!!!!!!!! :-(" So, I was afraid to touch or initiate any kind of hug or handshake or greeting or anything. I absolutely hated that! I really really wanted to just go up to them and embrace a hug, but nope. I was withdrawn, but to my surprise, they approached me with hugs! :-) So, I just have to say, I really like his family and considering the situation, I think I will grow to see his parents and become attached to them like my own.

A 19th Century church still well and
 functioning in Skien.

With the large ship in the background. 

I bet they're cold. :-) Maybe some clothes would help? ;-) 

The name of the Pub Quiz team. :-) 

Teaching me how to drive a 5-speed.
I have to learn before
taking my driver's test at least. 

The notorious step into the bathroom. 

At his parents home. His mother made tacos! :-) 

Kissing him at the "naked people park." 

My first subway ride. 

This was the most intact of all the Viking ships.

During the course of my stay he had the pleasure of taking me to tourist attractions as well as just showing me things I need to get used to so I can adjust to my new home. We shopped, went to the coast, met his friends and family of course, went swimming at an indoor water park (part of this was outdoors, which was interesting swimming outside in Norway in mid-January), and we just tried to live like a normal couple despite me being in "tourist-mode." For whatever reason, we picked the coldest day during my stay to visit Oslo. I can say, I do have a slight fear of big cities, so I obviously had a blast at our unnamed place by the coast which we had to hike and slip on ice to get a great view, rather than in Oslo being surrounded by crowds of people and having everything you can think of right in front of you. In Oslo I was suddenly empathizing with his vulnerability to heat from his visit last May. He was in pain, sweating and couldn't think coherently and kept asking me how I wasn't breaking a sweat at all and wondering how I seemed completely content. We left the park we were at and went to an ice cream shop to get him something to drink and later had ice cream.Quite the opposite happened to me that January evening walking in Oslo. He was excited and telling me about this place and that place and I was dragging behind and I felt so cold I was in literal pain and couldn't feel my face at all. I felt sick. When I decided I couldn't tough out the cold any longer I finally complained and we made our way into a souvenir shop so I could warm up.


The night before leaving we went out for dinner to a Mexican restaurant. Again, I was reading and watching videos on expat experiences and I've heard two things. One. Mexican restaurants in Norway are scarce. Two: They in no way compare to America's Mexican food! Well, I do have to say from my personal experience there's truth to that. His mother fixed tacos at home and they we're great and well, the home taco kits you buy at the store are some of the same brands we have here in America, so there's no difference there at all. The mexican restaurant.... hmmmm.... I know restaurants in Norway are horribly expensive, so when I got a plate of some "Mexican" food I've never even seen in my life I really didn't want to say anything and tried to eat what was given to me, but it was difficult. I did manage to eat all I found edible so I wouldn't feel so bad wasting food and even more so wasting $30. I've also noticed how waiters and waitresses give strange looks when you're "pickier" and have different requests for how you'd like your food cooked or changed.Speaking of Arild here of course. When here in America, I had to assure Arild on many occasions it's absolutely okay to ask them to cook or make your food whatever way you want. For example, ordering something that originally is covered in sauce or stuffed with meat, vegetables, whatever. If you just want it plain and with cheese, ask for it. Simple as that.

When we arrived home, I started packing my suitcase. I was very unenthusiastic about this. Then I realized I didn't have my passport. I didn't think this was a big deal because I lose everything anyways, but after about 30 minutes of not being able to find it, I began to worry. I told Arild and he helped me look. Still no luck. I unpacked my suitcase, packed it again, unpacked it. I looked in unusual places like the refrigerator and in cabinets. We both went out to the car and had no luck, then finally I opened the glove box and there it was. :-) He later told me he was beginning to worry he'd have to make a call to the U.S. embassy so I could make my way back home.

Last Norwegian sunrise. Blurry, but pretty. 

The next morning, he woke me up and asked me, "How do you feel?" I said, "Pissed." and he started laughing at me. I was serious! I got myself dressed and ready to leave my new home and take the 2 hour drive to Oslo and I kept whining and complaining to him, "I don't want to leave! I don't want to leave you! I don't want to leave my new home!" he assured me if it helped matters much, I would be back in May.

I was in my pissy mood throughout the ride to Oslo's Gardermoen airport. We mostly sat in silence and listened to the radio and stopped for breakfast during our 2.5 hour drive. When we did have conversation I would cry a little, stop, complain some more,cry, stop, nod off and fall asleep while talking (you know, that not so graceful bobbing head sitting up sleep), and I took pictures of the beautiful Norwegian sunrise.

The last goodbye. 

When we arrived at the airport and after sitting in his car for a bit and holding back tears with little success, I got tough again, and heard him laughing at me. He told me it was funny to watch a tiny, short mad blonde girl stomp her way into the airport.

He had to stop me and take a picture
of the scariest mad person
walking into an airport.
Yes, I'm mad here.
I really am!

Having a cute moment at my retirement spot. 

Once entering the airport, I got nauseous. After getting my passport stamped, having questions asked to me in Norwegian and I'm assuming I gave a confused look because their next response was, "Oh! English!", I finally was able to spare some time and sit down on a bench with Arild. I was way too uneasy to say much or savor my last few minutes with him. I was jittery, I wanted to run and throw up and if I didn't know better, I would have thought I was having a heart attack because the chest pains were killing me, but I managed to keep my mess of self together to hug onto him and tear up through the anticipation of leaving him again. For the last time.

I went through security, got on the plane, wrote a blog and thankfully had an entire row of seats to myself so I stretched across them. I randomly teared up, but being tired and more than ready to take on another waiting period just to get it over with was suddenly forcing itself as my first priority.

At my unnamed retirement spot. 

We've adjusted to our lives without one another again. We've managed to survive another waiting period and here we are just days away from getting married. I've quit my job, I'm preparing to receive my diploma in the mail, I'm getting final wedding preparations together and waiting for him to arrive here in Kentucky. This final waiting has been different because well, the others were us planning a bunch of things to cram into a couple of weeks and now it's so different. There's no need to do that now. Sure, we've made summer plans, but we actually have something we haven't had before - time to spend together. With every trip we've had, one of the worst experiences other than leaving each other has been this scenario where I fall asleep (wherever, I just crash)  unintentionally and I wake up tucked in bed and this horrible feeling just shadows over me because instead of sleeping I could have been spending time with him. That's been a common theme over the course of these trips, me falling asleep early, wake up a few hours later and burst into tears because I feel so guilty for falling asleep. No need to worry about that either. If I want to crash on the couch, in the chair, on his shoulder, wherever, I can guilt free and I'm certain I can look forward to waking up being tucked in bed. :-)

 I was driving quite a bit earlier today and drifted off into thought and decided the reading for our wedding ceremony is quite fitting. Our vows are traditional, but modified a bit. I've mentioned before I didn't want anything I couldn't understand or had to interpret its actual meaning and we both decided it's best to keep things simple. A friend of mine sent me a link to a site for "different" weddings and I found the Winnie the Pooh quote there! It was absolutely perfect.

FROM WINNIE THE POOH, BY A. A. MILNE

“Pooh” whispered Piglet.

“Yes, Piglet” replied Pooh
.
“Nothing,” answered Piglet,

“I just wanted to be sure of you.”

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have

 to live without you.”

“It’s so much more friendly with two.”

“Pooh, promise me you won’t forget about me, ever. Not even when I am a hundred.”

Pooh thought for a little.

“How old shall I be then?”

“Ninety-nine.”

Pooh nodded. “I promise,” he said.

“Some people care too much, I think it’s called love.”

Only one thing, I don't even think a lifetime or even 100 years is enough time to spend with my husband. He jokes and says, "Oh you'll get tired of me soon enough." No, no. He's my best friend and I haven't been tired of him since the day I met him. Everyday is something new. Maybe he experiences more randomness from me than I do him. Example:  he asked me the other day, "What are you doing?" My reply? Only what everyone can reply to that question with, "I'm counting opossums." 

So that's our story. The beginning of it at least. Our happily ever after will be just a normal relationship of ups, downs, loops and what have you. We'll experience the dynamics of any relationship, but we just have a different foundation. We're just days away from this no longer being a long-distance relationship and I don't think that's totally sunk in with me yet, but I'm feeling butterflies 95% of the day, so I'm sure that's a good sign. We'll have to adapt to one another in person all the time soon and I'm positive that will be just fine. For now, part of our relationship is ending and another level of our relationship is beginning. These are exciting times! :-) Both of us are very positive and optimistic about this experience and I think that's only the best way to go into anything. Life is what you make of it, right? 

I'm listening to what I've titled "A&E Playlist" which is a long list of songs we've put on CDs and mailed to one another in the beginning as friends. This is also the song list we play on the way to and from airports. Knowing I'm listening to this must mean we're close to the end of this waiting, right? 

I may not post much in the next few days as I'm days away from being reunited with my best friend, marrying him and then there's the moving part, but I know once settling down I'll have a lot to experience and talk about! I may not even post again until I've arrived into Norway, but I'll try my best to update with something! 

HA DET BRA!!!! 

Evelyn "very soon-to-be" P.-S.