Labor In Norway Part 2

I was exhausted and only wanted sleep which made me feel so terrible. I didn't want to want sleep. I wanted to want to hold my baby. Shortly after entering the room, I was sick. I craved water, but was only allowed tiny amounts. I slept. When I woke up Arild was beside me. He told me Pia was fine and he was being sent home. He said he had skin to skin care with Pia which I think he enjoyed because he said she kept sniffing at him as he was cuddling with her. He said it felt so strange and wrong to be in the NICU with Pia when there were premature babies, babies with cleft lips and other health problems in there. Our baby just had a mother with gestational diabetes and was probably very healthy, though she did have to stay a while because her glucose level was very low - 1.7 in European terms and 31 in American terms. Finally a midwife brought Pia into my ICU room. I had skin to skin care with her and this was our first attempt at breastfeeding. The midwife just laid her on me and she ate. I was shocked! We had no problems on the first try - or any try for that matter. This is why we call her a boob monster. I could only be amazed at how tiny she was. :-) I kept looking at her and back to Arild and all I could talk about was how tiny she was and try my hardest not to fall asleep.

Neither me or Arild feel cheated of our birth experience. Of course I wish he were there with me and of course I wish I could have had Pia with me at all times after she were born, but that's how labor is, sometimes things don't go the way we plan. 

Early the next morning, I was awoken and given oxycontin. As much as I hate pain medicine - narcotics especially, I did want to heal faster and I wanted to do as I was told, so I took it. I was reunited with Pia and called Arild to come back to the hospital. 

I think what I hated most about having a C-section wasn't the pain of the recovery, but that wasn't the worst pain I've ever experienced, though it wasn't unbearable, it was not being able to move around and being more dependent on others to help me. 

In my birth plan, I had written if I were unable to make any informed decisions about the labor or birth, Arild is to do so. Pia needed to be fed, she also was required to be in NICU. The midwife asked if Arild wanted Pia to receive donor milk until I was around to breastfeed. Of course in Norway, they encourage breastfeeding above all else, but there is donor milk to fall back on. They also encourage using this on infants than formula , but I will blab on about breastfeeding in Norway in another post. Arild signed a waiver to use the donor milk. Pia was given a tiny cup to sip the donor milk from. They also use cups rather than bottles on newborns as a bottle may cause nipple confusion. So a tiny cup is best. Even though this was the right thing to do in this situation. I just wanted to be with my baby. 

I counted my lucky stars we had no visitors and I was laboring in a hospital with strict visitation rules. There's no part of wanting visitors or having a mini family reunion while  being in pain I want a part of. ;-) I also think this helped me stay calm as I wasn't focused on other people, I only focused on this little pink blanket the midwife had warmed up to wrap Pia in. Telemark Hospital also has siesta, where even dads are made to leave and the mother's are encouraged to nap. There were visitation hours for immediate family (anyone else has to be approved) to visit and meet the newborn baby. Visitation hours were only an hour long. When I was pregnant and doing the hospital tour, we were told they thought of having longer visitation hours, but wanted the mothers to vote on it. The mothers wanted to keep an hour visitation. I am with them. It was very nice of course to have my husband's family visit us and a friend on another day, but I liked keeping it to an hour. I enjoyed having early bonding time with Pia without having to pass her off to everyone and I do think we bonded very quickly. 

After having a c-section, I was supposed to stay in the hospital for several days. The first few days were fine, I had my room to myself. Finally I got a roommate. We were going to pay for a private room during my stay so Arild could spend the night with me, but all the rooms were taken. So, I met new roommate. Pia's first month of life was very quiet. I have no idea what's happened now. NO IDEA! I was so convinced we were going to have a calm, quiet child. I was so so so wrong.  But my roommate's newborn was not so quiet and cried often. What's worse is,  she talked to her baby like a cat to calm he or she down. I don't think I'm an easy person to have a roommate to begin with, but the whole talking to a newborn like a cat thing all hours of day and night really got under my skin. I never asked a midwife to take Pia out of the room. I was hellbent on making sure she stayed with me, but it did cross my mind to ask the midwife to take my roommate away. That's awful, I know. 

After a couple of days of my noisy roommate talking to her baby like a cat and her equally loud crying baby, I asked if I could be discharged early. I figured I could rest, though not much, but at least better at home than in the hospital. This was day 5 of me being in the hospital and they were wanting to keep me 2 more days. I was told to walk around and be more active, also, I was reminded I'd have no pain medication to go home with. Fine by me. I walked and walked though I was shaking from the pain, but bullheaded me wanted to go home so badly, I rested when needed, but kept walking as much as possible, carting little Pia with me. 

Pia's first walk at 5 days old. :-) She has still continued to
have a love for going on walks. 

I was discharged the next day. 

A few times after I began breastfeeding Pia, a midwife would come in with a tiny cup of donor milk. I didn't quite understand why, but I didn't ask any questions either. The first 2 times it happened, I was ok, but the 3rd time, I told her no. I am supposed to breastfeed, so that's what I'll be doing from here on out. And that's what I did. 

Another pang of jealousy hit when Pia had to meet with a doctor as he was checking her out to see about the mass which was detected inside her lower abdomen when I was pregnant with her. The doctor asked me if she had peed in a while. I had printed off a checklist to bring with me to the hospital so I could monitor how often she was breastfed, peed or pooped, etc. I told him no, she hasn't in several hours according to my chart. The nurse in the room said, yes she did. I changed her diaper just a bit a go. I have never been so jealous in my life and it was over a diaper. I was upset, but I did try to remind myself so many women want someone else changing their baby's diaper. That didn't help much though. I love taking care of Pia though it is overwhelming at times. I didn't and still don't mind diapers. 

We were home on a Saturday and we were out taking Pia on a walk the next day on Sunday. She has since become very dependent on these walks and will definitely let us know when it is time for her daily walk. Rain, snow or shine I'm facing the weather while she's cozy in her pram being walked to sleep. :-) 
I was so happy I had thought to make a month's worth of freezer meals after coming home. Mostly because otherwise I would have been dependent on the hubs making me dinner - and that can only go one way and that way is disastrous. 

I was surprised at how normal and how much better I had felt after Pia was born. Even coming home I was still hurting and only taking Paracet, but I did do domestic chores like laundry. It was also pretty great that Arild, though because I don't work, he isn't allowed the 4 month daddy leave, he did get a 2 week daddy leave and this helped me so much. Arild took the night shift with Pia and I took the day.  I was never moody until 6 weeks after Pia was born and that still hasn't passed. I'm certain lack of sleep has a lot to do with it. 

The following Tuesday from returning home, I went back to the hospital so they could undo my bandaging and take out my staples. This was completely painless and in fact, I still have 0 feeling around my C-section scar. 
Overall, I'm happy with the way things were. I have no regrets and I think all the right calls were made under the circumstances for the most part. My attitude going into labor was, all that matters is Pia getting here safely. However, I do think being induced caused a lot of the problems we had. (That is just my opinion and an educated guess, I really have nothing against inductions or would encourage anyone to go against medical advice.) I do think though next time, if there is a next time I think I will suggest to my doctors about not having an induction. The induction wasn't bad. The Pitocin wasn't the greatest thing in the world, but my labor didn't really go as I wanted it and I think this was vastly due to being induced before little Miss Pia was ready. Of course at 40 weeks pregnant, I was more than ready to cuddle my little girl, but the diabetes didn't have much of an effect on her, so looking back, I think it would have been best for her to have just come into this world when she was ready. As long as there is no real risk, I will strongly encourage my doctor / midwife to hold off on inducing me next time, unless they can give me a valid reason besides "it's standard procedure with gestational diabetes". I'd much rather go 2 weeks past my due date and have a natural birth when my child is ready to meet me on their own term than to be induced a bit early or on time. I think it would have been great if I spent my early labor at home and just went to the hospital when my contractions were ready enough. Pia wasn't a big baby from the diabetes. Her waist was larger than normal, but that was the only effect it had on her size. What did help me though, was staying calm through everything and just accepting things don't always go as planned. 

As far as my birth plan, most things were used, but some things had to be ignored considering the circumstances. I did ask to donate stem cells from the umbilical cord, but I was uncertain and still am if Norway does this. I was adamant on Pia staying in my room and I got that. I was also very adamant on skin to skin care and she was placed on my chest right after she was born, she had skin to skin with her pappa in NICU and then again with me when she was brought to ICU. I asked for Arild to be in charge of decision making if I couldn't and he did and made the decisions I would have if I were able to at the time. 

So there you have it, my labor story on how it was done here in Norway! 

If I could go back in time, I'd grab the pregnant me and tell myself to buck up and put my big girl panties on. Stop having high expectations and just let things happen and deal with it when I get there. The pregnant me was delusional. Just as a side note, this is what I WASN'T prepared for post-partum:

- My moodswings didn't happen until a few weeks after Pia was born. I realized I had no idea what I was doing and this made me sad. Very sad. I kept beating myself up over not knowing how to fix every little problem. I still have days like this, but for the most part, I think little Pia is doing pretty well and she wouldn't be without me. That's my reassuring thought.

- Having no social life. Rookie mistake. My social life has nearly diminished. No date nights. In the beginning Arild and I wanted one date night a week. Just one. It would give her grandparents time to spend with her while he and I had some time together. Several months ago we discovered she has separation anxiety. We recently tried a "date day" and that went better than before, but she still cried eventually. I would feel guilty leaving her to have a good time while thinking she's panicking without her favorite person in the world. Talking on Skype or making a phone call is almost impossible. (I think Pia realizes I'm not talking to her, so she screams. The screaming always stops when I stop talking to someone else. Hmmmm) I meet with friend's for lunch once a month. I have no idea why I thought this was going to be a moderately easy task, but I was so, so wrong.

- Separation anxiety. It happened a little early for Pia. Well, really early at 2 months. I probably made a mistake of trying to go back to norskkurs so soon. On the bright side, it's sadly heartwarming my kid really likes my company. :-)

- When I was pregnant I was idealistic expecting this calm, quiet adorable, cuddly child. She is adorable and cuddly, but calm and quiet? HA! I haven't seen those days since her first month of life. If she's awake, she's "talking." If she's lying on the floor, she wants to sit up. If she's sitting up, she wants to stand. If she's on her belly, she's frustrated because she's not crawling enough. She's a very active and determined baby. I've never seen a baby this hyper before, but then again, I don't have much experience with babies either.

-Sleep. I don't think sleep with babies can ever be figured out no matter what sleep method you go with.

-Teething. I have been warned about teething, but wow, I never knew how much teeth could hurt a baby and  of course, I want to take the pain away as much as I can, but it's an awful, awful helpless feeling when your child is suffering and there's nothing you can do - even if it's just a tooth.

- At one point in my life I must have thought I was invincible. I worked full time night shift and I went to college during the day. I needed an education and I also needed money, so this is what I saw fit at the time. I lived on energy drinks and vending machine food. This did take a toll on me. I thought this was the most tired I once was. I'd doze off driving, I was cranky and moody and a monster to live with, I fell asleep during a test and made my first official F. I am now beyond this tired. I knew being a parent would be exhausting, but again, I didn't expect it to be this exhausting. Most days I find it absolutely rewarding and so worth it. I'd much rather wake up to a little  person who is smiling, ready to start a brand new exciting day and excited to see her mamma, rather than waking up to an alarm clock I'd like to chuck across the room.

Shortly after returning home.

And here she is today!